Harry Potter and the Revenge of Mary Sue
by Hallie Black
Summary: Mary Sue Bloomwood is one of the two unidentified Gryffindor girls, who is planning her revenge for having been so plainly ignored by the Wonder Trio for the past six years. But is she really the mind behind all the madness going on at Hogwarts?
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: As I've stated before, I'm Hallie. Not J. K. Rowling. As a consequence of this, I own nothing except the plot and a couple of OC's. Is that clear?

A/N: Okay this fanfic is really stupid. I got an inspiration for it last night and began writing. Funny how the weirdest fics are always written at night. Anyway, hope you enjoy it. PLEASE PLEASE LEAVE A REVIEW! I BEG OF YOU!

When Harry Potter woke up on that dull Tuesday morning, he immediately knew something was wrong. He didn't know how he knew that, but he did. Maybe the fact that the small, circular room that had always been his dormitory was now a bright shade of magenta or that Dean Thomas, on the bed to his left, was singing 'We Wish You a Merry Christmas' at the top of his lungs (when it was still the 3rd of October) sort of gave it away, but Harry had not needed all these signs to realize something was wrong, because he had a knack for finding trouble.

"Ron," he hissed at the redheaded boy who was still snoring quietly in his four-poster. "Ron! For Merlin's beard, wake up!"

"Hmm?" asked Ron, sleepily.

"Ron, wake up, something creepy's definitely going on here…" answered Harry seriously.

Ron was immediately wide awake and up on his bed. "Does this have to do with… You-Know-Who?"

"Maybe. I'm not sure yet. Although," he frowned, "now that you mention it, it must be Lord Voldemort," (Ron flinched, even if, after six years of knowing Harry, he should have gotten over it by now) "because, honestly, who else would cause mayhem here?"

Ron stared at him skeptically. "My brothers?"

"Oh… yeah." Harry stared at his mate, confused. "No, no, hold on a sec. Your brothers left school last year!" He grinned smugly. "What do you say to that, huh?"

It was Ron's turn to stare. "Oh, and do you honestly think that running away from school would stop them turning up for some chaos?"

"Fair point. Well, then, what do you think, Ron? Who do you reckon is behind all this madness?"

The redhead rolled his eyes. "What madness are you referring to, anyway? If it is about Dean singing Christmas carols in October, then it's nothing to worry about… he just got into the way of one of Ginny's Memory Charms."

Harry goggled at him. "Why would your baby sister want to put Memory Charms on people?"

"You don't know Ginny. Anyway, she just wanted to make Dean forget about that whole 'being possessed by You-Know-Who' thing, since, you know, they were dating. Only she got a bit overexcited and hexed him into oblivion. Now the poor fellow doesn't even know his own name, let alone what time of the year it is."

"Oh. That explains a great deal. But what about our dormitory? Why is everything now a violent shade of magenta?" asked Harry. "Don't tell me your sister–"

"What? Oh no, that's got nothing to do with Ginny. I suppose," said Ron thoughtfully, "that this is just Mary Sue's revenge for having ignored her for the past six years…"

Harry was very confused now. "Mary Sue? Who's Mary Sue?"

"Come on, you know. Mary Sue Bloomwood. One of the two unidentified Gryffindor girls. She and her best friend, Emma Connors… We've practically snubbed them ever since we came to this school…" said Ron.

The Boy Who Lived stared. "I never knew there were two Gryffindor girls called Mary Sue and Emma. I don't recall them being in any of our classes, nor in the common room, Quidditch Team, or house table for that matter."

"You're quite wrong on that, mate. They were in one Defense Against the Dark Arts class back in third year with professor Lupin. Remember, that time with the boggart?" Ron involuntarily shivered at the thought. On that occasion, he had to confront a giant, six legged spider.

"Oh. Right," said Harry. "Well, I'm hungry. Wanna go down for some breakfast?"

"Sure," answered Ron.

Little did they know that something was indeed wrong at Hogwarts. And that they would soon be finding out what.

As the two friends sat at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall that morning, Harry poked Ron in the ribs (a bit more forcefully than intended).

"Ouch! What?" asked Ron, annoyed.

"Who are they? Could you point them out to me?" asked Harry, clearly uncomfortable. He felt very awkward about the fact that he had, up to that day, fully ignored the existence of two girls who, apparently, had been around him for over five years.

Ron stared at him as if he were mad. "Su-re… If you're sure you don't remember them, there they are… See them? There… on Parvati's left… the short one is Emma, and the gorgeous, tall blonde is Mary Sue."

Harry glanced at the short brunette Ron had pointed to first, then followed his gaze and looked at the girl sitting next to her. He goggled. Mary Sue Bloomwood was the most beautiful creature he had ever laid his eyes upon. Tall and slender, she had round, blue eyes, a small nose and long blond hair that fell elegantly to her waist. At that moment the girl stood up, and Harry's eyes traveled down her slender figure, resting for a second on her well manicured hands and… um… the perfect curves on her front. "Wow…" he whispered. "How the heck could I not have noticed _her_?" He was sure he had never seen that goddess before, otherwise he wouldn't have spent so much time on Cho Chang (who, compared to Mary Sue, looked like a chipmunk).

Ron shrugged. "Don't ask, mate. She's sort of hard to miss, isn't she?"

"Yeah," agreed Harry.

"I dunno. Everything's possible in Hogwarts…" said Ron thoughtfully. "Maybe it's got to do with the fact that this isn't real life but it's just a silly fanfiction… probably not even the best fanfic ever written, actually…"

Harry stared. "What did you just say?"

Ron's face (and his ears) turned suddenly very red, the perfect shade to match his hair. "Never mind, forget that. Um, yeah… so, uh, we were saying?"

"Whatever. Let's just go to class, shall we?" asked Harry, nonplussed.

"Yeah."

A/N: Okay, first chapter's done. I hope you've liked the story so far and I promise a lot of laughs in the chapters to come.  



	2. Chapter 2

CHAPTER TWO

Their first class that morning was Transfiguration. A class in which, he was certain, Harry had never seen either girl. But, sure enough, the two girls made their way inside chatting animatedly with Lavender Brown and Parvati Patil. Harry was yet again dazzled by Mary Sue's beauty, and, as time flew by, even by her unbelievable wit, who could easily rival Hermione's.

"Who can tell me the correct incantation to change a feather into foam?" asked McGonagall, once the class had settled down.

Hermione's hand flew up, as predictable, but Harry noticed that Mary Sue raised hers as well.

"Ms. Bloomwood?"

"_ Plumam in schiumam _," said the pretty lady, and Harry was amazed at the sound of her voice, which was so melodious it almost seemed like music.

McGonagall smiled at her (at this Harry seriously thought Mary Sue had to be a veela or something. Since when did McGonagall _smile _?), and awarded Gryffindor a hundred house points.

After this, students were paired into groups and given a feather they were supposed to transform into white, soft foam. Poor Mary Sue, she was teamed up with Neville, who was as close to transforming the feather into foam as he was to get an O in Potions. Harry edged near them to hear.

"Don't worry, Neville, I'll help you with it. It's really quite simple," said Mary Sue soothingly, giving him a radiant smile. "Do as I do: _Plumam in schiumam _!"

Neville, however, was too transfixed to notice. He could not take his eyes off her. And neither could Harry.

"Oh, honestly, Harry, Mary Sue's just a pushover. We've been getting along great without her, why are you making such a fuss?" huffed Hermione.

Ron grinned. "Are you jealous, Hermione?"

Hermione stared at him, clearly offended. "Ex-cuse me? And jealous of what, may I ask?"

"Well, she's as smart as you are, for one, and she's also gorgeous," answered Ron.

Hermione shot daggers at him. "Implying that I'm ugly?"

"No! Of course not, Hermione!" said Ron, worried. "She's just got, uh–"

"Bigger boobs," finished Hermione for him.

"Yes. I mean no! I mean–"

"Whatever."

Harry spoke up. "Well, I'm going to talk to her."

Hermione looked like she wanted to say something, but thought better of it and shrugged instead, looking at Harry with a most disapproving expression.

Harry chose to ignore this and walked up to the blond bimbo (who also happened to be quite a genius, actually) and said, "Hey, Mary Sue."

She rounded on him, glaring. "Oh sure. _Now _it's 'hey, Mary Sue'! For the past five years you've hardly even talked to me and now that I'm a bit more developed you suddenly notice me…"

_Haha _, thought Harry. So she had grown over the past summer. Well, at least that explained why he had never noticed her before. "Um, no, actually, I, uh, wanted to congratulate myself with you for that, uh, great performance back in class."

She raised an eyebrow. "Ri-ight," said Mary Sue sarcastically.

"And, well, um, I wanted to know whether it was you who, uh, turned our dormitory all pink…" finished Harry.

"No, it wasn't me, and it definitely isn't pink. It's magenta. There's a difference. It's like saying purple is the same as violet. I mean, they're totally different colours." Mary Sue looked smugly at him.

"Oh," said Harry. Well, if it wasn't Mary Sue, it wasn't Lord Voldemort, and it wasn't the Weasley twins, who was the damn culprit?

At that moment Hermione spoke up. Apparently, she had not left after all. "Oh yeah? And if it wasn't you, then how did you know the walls are magenta and not pink?" she asked.

Mary Sue looked uncomfortable for a moment, but then pasted back her sunny smile back on her lips. "Someone told me it was magenta… And, anyway, aren't you a bit too nosy, silly?"

Harry looked concerned. Ron looked bemused. Mary Sue looked confident. And Hermione looked ready to kill. "I care if someone stirs up trouble, Missy," answered Hermione scathingly.

Ron laughed. "'Stirs up trouble'? Honestly, 'Mione, and you call changing the color of a wallpaper 'stirring up trouble'? A bit an exaggeration, don't you agree?"

Hermione was fuming. "It is not an exaggeration! AND DON'T YOU CALL ME 'MIONE! I HATE THAT STUPID NAME, AND IT'S NOT EVEN A NICKNAME! YOU JUST CALLED ME THAT ONCE BECAUSE YOU CAN'T EAT PROPERLY AND YOUR STUPID MOUTH WAS FULL AND THAT'S ALL THAT CAME OUT! BUT MY NAME IS _HERMIONE _! GET IT? HER-MY-OH-NEE!" Hermione closed her mouth and began breathing heavily. "Oh goody, I'd been waiting to get that out of my system since second year…"

"Uh, sorry, 'Mione… Um, no, I meant, Hermione… didn't mean to upset you, honest…" said Ron, afraid she'd explode again.

Mary Sue smiled widely. "Oh? How long have you been 'Mione, then? I think it's such a pretty nickname," she added, smiling sweetly.

Ron grinned. "Yeah, I know. But she just —"

Hermione got out her wand. "Don't you dare say that again…" Then she rounded on Ron. "And you, you idiot, you listen to her, why don't you, and we'll see what happens…"

Harry looked from Hermione (who was still breathing heavily) to Ron (who was shrinking against the wall). "Um, how about we get to class?"

"Sure," said Mary Sue, looking smugly at Hermione. "Let's go Harry," she added, grasping Harry's arm and steering him towards the Charms classroom.

Hermione huffed, whereas Ron frowned. "Oh sure, he's never noticed her his own life and now that he does she's all over him just because he's _famous _Harry Potter," spat Ron. "That's not fair."

"C'mon, Ron, you can do so much better than her," said Hermione.

"Oh yeah? And who would that be, huh?"

Hermione smiled. "Let's just say you can call me 'Mione again."

"Okay," said Ron, who was so dense he could not see what her nickname could have anything to do with a girl.

A/N: Gotcha curious, didn't I? I bet you're just dying to know who the culprit is! Hehehe… I'm kidding. I just hope you enjoy. Please review!


	3. Chapter 3

CHAPTER THREE

A/N: Okay this is it, the final chapter. Sorry it took so long to update! Enjoy!

"The plan wasn't safe, Master," said a melodious voice. "Potter suspects me…"

Someone laughed. "So? Just because he suspects you, that doesn't mean he'll ever think of me." The voice then sounded more strained. Bitter, almost. "He never thinks of me. He'd think of anyone, or anything, even Lord Voldemort, I'm sure, but he'll never think of me. In any way…"

"Don't worry, Master, we'll make him pay. After all, we've both been way too ignored… in one way or another."

"Yes, Sue, you're right. We have been. Now let's get on to plan B, shall we?"

* * *

That night, in their magenta dormitory, Harry couldn't sleep. "You know, Ron, maybe you were right. Maybe the color-change our walls have gone through was just a silly joke. Nothing to worry about…"

"Yeah," answered Ron.

"And I'm sure that Mary Sue, as perfect as she is, wasn't really aiming at me when she hit me with the Furnunculus Curse in Filch's class…"

"Of course she didn't do it on purpose!"

"And in Potions, I'm sure it was all an accident when my potion suddenly exploded. Lucky I had gone over to help Neville, really, because Hermione told me that potion could have been lethal when exposed to human skin…"

"Definitely."

"Although I wonder, is it really normal for Cho Chang to be completely bald?"

"Oh that," answered Ron. "Oh yeah, that's nothing to worry about. Chang just got the receiving end of one of Ginny's hair loss curses."

Harry frowned. "Why would your sister want to put hair loss curses on people? I mean, I understand the whole Memory Charm issue with Dean, but _hair loss _?"

"Oh no, it's just in that last Quidditch match Ravenclaw — Gryffindor, Ginny was looking for the Snitch, you know? Well, she had all her hair in front of her eyes and couldn't see a thing. So she wanted to trim it a bit but then a Bludger came her way and she involuntarily aimed her wand at Cho…"

"Yeah, well, she should have just trimmed her hair, shouldn't she?"

"Come on, Harry, you know Ginny. She just got a bit overexcited, that's all. And, anyway, the important thing is that Gryffindor won."

"Hard to lose, really, if Cho was looking for her hair rather than the Snitch," concluded Harry. "Okay then. 'Night, Ron."

"Night."

* * *

But throughout that whole week, Harry had come to realize that something _had _to be wrong. All sorts of accidents seemed to happen to him, and every time something did happen, Mary Sue was always around. Could Hermione have been right about her all along?

"I wouldn't be surprised," said Hermione haughtily, answering his unasked question. "I'm always right. Especially when it comes to face trouble. Who was it in our first year who was sure it wasn't Snape who wanted to kill Harry?"

"You," chorused Harry and Ron.

"And who, in our second year, had realized what beast was wandering around the school?"

"You did."

"And who was the one who _told you _Sirius was okay and that you shouldn't trust your dreams, Harry?"

"You did."

"It's all your fault Sirius died, by the way."

"Thanks Hermione for reminding me."

"Not a problem."

Ron spoke up. "So, we agree that it's gotta be Mary Sue behind all the stuff that's been happening to Harry, right? Oh yeah," he added, looking at Hermione's venomous glare, "and we all agree that Hermione was right all along?"

"We do," answered Harry.

"So, what'll we do about it?" asked Ron.

"Harry," said Hermione, "you're going to have to confront her."

Harry gulped. "Okay."

"Here she comes now, see what you can do," said Hermione.

Harry merely nodded, while Ron whispered, "Good luck, mate. We're right here should anything go wrong."

And so, as Mary Sue made her way through the portrait hole into the almost empty common room (there was only a group of first years playing exploding snap and Ginny Weasley reading a book near the fire), Harry walked up to her. "Mary Sue, we've got to talk."

"Yes, Harry, I do," answered Mary Sue, smiling radiantly.

Harry stared at her in amazement. "But I haven't said anything yet!"

"I know what you want, Harry. I was just saving you the trouble of asking me."

"Really?" Harry looked relieved. "Thanks, Mary Sue."

"So, when's the next Hogsmeade weekend?"

Harry looked at her, nonplussed. "I dunno. What's that gotta do with your plan of revenge?"

"My what?"

"Don't play dumb with us, Missy, we know what you've been up to," piped up Hermione.

"I don't think I was talking to you, 'Mione," answered Mary Sue.

"DON'T CALL ME THAT!" yelled Hermione.

"Then keep your nose out of my and Harry's business," said the blonde.

"Fine, Harry, you tell her." And with that Hermione stormed out of the room.

"You were saying, Harry dear?" resumed Mary Sue sweetly.

"I wanted to know why you want to kill me."

"I don't want to kill you!"

"LIAR!" came a muffled voice from behind the Fat Lady's portrait.

Mary Sue looked at Harry straight in the eye. "Harry, listen to me, I would never want to kill you."

"I believe you," answered Harry, who was staring at her, transfixed, with his mouth hanging open.

"THAT'S IT!" And with that, the portrait hole opened again and Hermione walked through. Or stomped, more like. "That's it, you bimbo, just because you can play your little charms on these two idiots it doesn't mean you can fool me! What have you been up to?"

Mary Sue looked at Hermione and, sensing defeat, shrugged. "Listen, Hermione, I'm not kidding when I say I never meant to kill Harry. The pranks I played on him, they were just jokes for my revenge. I've been completely ignored up till this year by _all _of you, just because I didn't have _these _, and now that Harry's finally realized I existed I wanted some payback time. And I know, that time in Potions I sort of stepped over the line, but I assure you, I didn't want to hurt him badly. And… and all those pranks weren't even my idea. I was just obeying."

"Obeying? You mean you're not the mind behind all of this?" asked Hermione.

"No way. I mean, I didn't even _want _revenge. So what if nobody knew I existed? I had friends, that was enough for me. But it wasn't enough for someone else. Someone _powerful _, who also wanted revenge on Harry. She was so angry with him–"

"_ She _?" asked Ron bemused. "You mean it isn't You-Know-Who who wants him _dead _?"

"Don't say 'dead', Ron. I don't think my master wants him dead. She just wanted revenge."

"Who is she?" asked Harry intently.

"Uh-uh, not telling. She'd kill me… and I'm not kidding. I told you she's powerful. You figure it out," answered Mary Sue.

"Hm…" said Hermione thoughtfully. "Maybe it's Parvati. I don't exactly see her as 'powerful' but… she could be angry with you because you didn't behave very well with her at the Yule ball."

"C'mon, Hermione, that was two years ago! She couldn't hold a grudge for so long!" answered Harry.

"Then who do _you _think it is, since you're so smart?" asked Hermione hastily.

"I dunno… Maybe it's Cho, you know, because things didn't work out between us…" answered Harry. "What do you reckon, Ron?"

"I'm betting it's that sneak friend of hers, Marietta!" said Ron.

"Oh come on, poor girl, you're just trying to drag her into anything wrong that happens. And plus, why should she be mad at me? It's Hermione's fault she ended up with boils covering her face saying 'SNEAK' for two weeks, not mine," stated Harry.

"Fair point. But then… who can it be?" asked Ron.

Ginny jumped up. Apparently their talking had distracted her and she found she couldn't read. "SHUT UP ALL THREE OF YOU!"

"Sorry, Ginny, we didn't mean to bother you," said Hermione soothingly. "Maybe _you've _got an idea as to who's behind this?"

"OF COURSE I KNOW WHO'S BEHIND THIS!" answered Ginny. "I AM! IT WAS ME! FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, IT WAS ME! IT WASN'T THAT HARD TO FIGURE OUT!"

Ron wheeled back to face his sister. "You, Ginny? Come on, that's impossible, you _love _Harry…"

"I VERY WELL KNOW I DO, RON, BUT HE WON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT ME, ANYWAY! MARY SUE AS GOOD AS TOLD YOU IT WAS ME! 'SOMEONE POWERFUL WHO'S BEEN IGNORED BY HARRY POTTER'! WHO ELSE? LIKE MARY SUE, OR PARVATI, OR MARIETTA WOULD ACTUALLY HAVE ENOUGH BRAINS! IT WAS ME! DIDN'T YOU NOTICE I HAD TO PUT A MEMORY CHARM ON DEAN BECAUSE HE OVERHEARD ME TELLING SUE ABOUT MY LATEST PLAN TO REVENGE? OR DID YOU ACTUALLY BELIEVE MY COCK-AND-BULL STORY ABOUT MAKING HIM FORGET ME BEING POSSESSED BY LORD VOLDEMORT? AND THAT TIME WHEN I MADE CHANG'S HAIR FALL OUT? DID YOU REALLY THINK IT WAS JUST A COINCIDENCE?" bellowed Ginny.

"It wasn't?" asked Harry meekly.

"OF COURSE NOT! CHANG WAS THE GIRL YOU DATED INSTEAD OF ME! I WANTED TO MAKE HER LOOK SO REVOLTING YOU'D NEVER THINK ABOUT HER AGAIN AND FOCUS YOUR ATTENTION ON ME!" Ginny was really on a rant now.

"But it didn't work," said Hermione, comprehension finally dawning on her face.

"Wait a sec, Ginny," interrupted Ron, "I thought you were over Harry! You've been dating so many guys…"

"I WAS OVER HIM, AND THAT'S WHY I WANTED REVENGE! YOU GUYS ARE SO THICK I'M SURPRISED YOU'VE THWARTED LORD VOLDEMORT'S PLANS FOR FIVE TIMES NOW!" yelled Ginny even more loudly.

Harry spoke up and faced Ginny. "So you did all this… because you love me?" he asked.

"Yes, Harry," she answered quietly.

"Oh." He grinned. "Wanna go to Hogsmeade with me next week?"

Ginny smiled. "I'd love to."

And they all lived happily ever after.

THE END

A/N: I just love fairy tale endings. Did you like my story? Did you think it was complete rubbish? Whatever your opinion is, let me know what you think!  
Thanx  
Hallie


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